Back when I was starting out in business, I’d do a lot of masterminds.
The masterminds frequently asked one question…
“What is your why?”
Starting a business is hard, they’d say.
You’re going to want to quit if you don’t have a why, they’d say.
A lot of people (including myself) had similar responses.
We’d respond with..
“I want to help my local community.”
“I want to live up to my potential.”
“I want to take care of my family.”
These declarations are all well and good.
In fact, I think they’re among the highest noble things a human can do.
The problem was…
I didn’t really want to do those things.
I actually wanted to make money and live a lifestyle on my own terms.
I’d often ask myself…
“What’s wrong with me?”
Am I just a selfish person?
Then a wave of guilt and shame would hit me and I’d feel even worse.
But after thinking about it deeper, I discovered…
It was all my ego.
The desire to be Mr. Noble was just coming from a “people pleasing” state.
I wanted people to think I was holier than thou.
But after that posturing was over, the reality hit me hard.
It’s what caused me to finally quit my corporate job at Oxford Club last April.
I was tired of the seemingly 24/7 work machine.
I was burned out, resentful and definitely no Steve Jobs.
I wanted to get back to doing what I love the most.
What do I love the most?
Latin dance.
Latin dance is where my energy and happiness flows the most.
I did latin dance for more than 8 years before I decided I needed to quit.
“It was time to grow up” I’d tell myself.
I’m 34 now, and I can’t be out until 6 a.m. dancing like I used to in my mid 20’s.
So I took the corporate job with Oxford in 2022 and moved to Baltimore.
Cut to 4 years later and I wasn’t happy with who I saw in the mirror.
I had gained 30 pounds.
I was addicted to caffeine so I could work.
I slept terribly because of all said caffeine.
I was tired and lethargic all the time.
And all this hype with artificial intelligence was pressuring me to stay at my computer even more because I didn’t want to miss the next Claude update.
I knew this wasn’t sustainable on a physical level.
It’s been 3 months since I left Oxford.
Since then, I’ve been back in the gym, working on my own books (I’ve got 2 published so far), and last night I went back to a dance for the first time in a long time.
I still have some ways to go, but I like the direction I’m headed now.
Does any of this resonate?
Have you struggled with doing things just to please others in the past?
How has it impacted you?
Let me know by commenting below.